Pitbull & Xtina's Feel This Moment - Video Review

Christina Aguilera's unbreakable lotus has finally been set free! After a couple of chart misfires, the iconic diva is rising up - back to the beginning - with another international smash. I wrote about "Feel This Moment" last month and basically called it a hot mess. That opinion still stands but the song has become something of a guilty pleasure and it warms what's left of my dead heart to hear Xtina's glorious pipes back on the radio.

And, it seems, I'm not alone. Despite minimal promotion, the '80s classic-sampling club banger is shooting up the charts worldwide. It would have been nice for one of the many great tracks on Lotus to get this kind of attention but I guess you need Pitbull's insightful musings - "I'm a genius, I mean brilliant" - to get bitches to click download. But that's a complaint for another day.

A belated video dropped over the weekend and it's as low brow and seemingly low budget as the song. There's a lot of tour footage, Mr Worldwide looking moronic but sexy (shut up - there's something about him!) and Godtina redefining flawlessness. I love her ridiculous wig and the fact that she's wearing more make-up than a Mexican tranny.

But most of all, I live for the parts where she's mouthing the words to Pit's rhymes, like she's collaborating with Jay Z or someone vaguely relevant. Christina is so awkward that it's endearing. I really hope she gets her groove back and reminds everyone how a real diva does it. This is a step in the right direction.

7/10

Xtina's Legendary AMA Performance

I know I'm late on this but I just had to pay tribute to the best live performance of 2012. Christina Aguilera's Lotus medley shook my world to its very foundations earlier this week. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or fall to my knees and worship. The performance is such a piping hot mess that it transcends criticism and becomes something quite magical.

There's nothing wrong with Xtina's vocal. She sounded fine and I approve of her eating for two since becoming a TV host. You'd take solace in food too if you had to listen to those cunts on The Voice all day. But what was that outfit? Who is responsible for the Madonna-circa-1997 choreography? And which fuckwit picked the songs?

Christina has only performed "Your Body" once on Jimmy Fallon - acoustically with office supplies, no less. Someone needs to tell the lazy bitch that it's not 2001 anymore. The buzz is gone. She is going to have to work for a hit. The AMAs would have been a nice promo opportunity for the track but she sings the "Lotus intro" instead. What the fuck? And then teams it up with "Army Of Me" and "Let There Be Love". Why not just belt out a "Woo Hoo"/"Vanity" mash-up? It would have been just as relevant.

The performance is infuriating but absolutely mesmerising. I can't get enough of this and pray for a Lotus tour. You just know it will redefine so-wrong-it's-right entertainment for decades to come!

Remembering Christina's Reflection

So I dropped into JB Hi-Fi this afternoon to buy Lotus, most likely doubling sales in NSW. As one of the few people that actually like Xtina's new album, it was nice to finally hold a physical copy in my hands. The experience got me thinking about the first time I bought a Christina Aguilera CD. That was, scarily enough, way back in 1998. I vividly remember stumbling across "Reflection" in the music section of Grace Bros (these were the days before Myer) and thinking who the fuck is this bitch?

I never heard the big-lunged diva's contribution to the Mulan soundtrack on Australian radio or TV. It certainly didn't chart and she wasn't mentioned in any of the teen magazines I used to obsess over. But like so many times before (and since), I was intrigued by the cover and bought it on a whim. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't an over-the-top Celine Dion-tastic power ballad. There's nothing particularly unique about the song - that sound was everywhere in the late '90s - but it was love at first listen and I still rank "Reflection" as one of Xtina's finest moments.

Not that it did anything. "Reflection" only peaked at 19 on the US Adult Contemporary Chart. The track did help Christina secure a record deal with RCA, so I guess it was a milestone of sorts. Time has been pretty kind to the Lotus flower's debut single - probably because it wasn't very cool to begin with. The zero budget video (below) cracks me up and I love her Jennie Garth-inspired hairdo. Maybe she just needs to record another song for a flop cartoon to revive her career? No?