Fall In Love With Jordyn Taylor. Again.

Jordyn Taylor's claim to fame is appearing on the best soundtrack of all time. Of course, I'm talking about Confessions Of A Shopaholic. That opus features Lady Gaga (covering Heidi Montag!), not one but two doses of Kat DeLuna, iconic flops Jessie James and Adrienne Bailon - and this cutie. The Asian American diva was only 16 when she was signed to Interscope and briefly had the blogs buzzing when she hit the studio with super-producers like Darkchild and Stargate.

Things didn't really work out for the teenager and the next time she popped up on my radar was in 2011, when she hit #1 on a random Japanese chart with a song about wearing wigs. I'm not joking. Well, Jordyn dropped her sophomore album - her debut was a Japan only release - a couple of weeks ago and it quickly became my new obsession.  

Shine is first great pure pop album of 2013. While the mid-tempo songs sound like a cross between Stacie Oricco and Mandy Moore (a massive compliment, by the way!), the real gems are the high-camp dance anthems. My favourite is the glorious "Take You Home", which is what Katy Perry would sound like if she morphed into Carly Rae Jepsen and traveled back in time to a 1977 roller disco for inspiration, but "Arigato" and "It's VABENE" come a close second.

The latter has been selected as Shine's second single and it's hard to argue with the logic. "It's VABENE" - a bastardization of Italian term "va bene" - is so ruthlessly perky and well-intentioned, you can't help but be swept along in Jordyn's sparkly cloud of good cheer. And did I mention that it features DJ Hello Kitty? When will your fave?

The video (below) is a frothy, feelgood adventured that finds our heroine partying with a group of her best friends - and Hello Kitty. I particularly love how her pals give her a makeover with a pair of scissors. Could no one lend her an outfit? This shit gives me so much life.

La Toya's Exquisite Duet With Minako Honda

It's been far too long since my last Toy post but the duchess of dance is always on my mind. Like an aggressive brain tumor. 2013 is going to be a huge year for the thinking man's Jackson with a new reality show on the way and perhaps even new music. No, I haven't heard anything but I'm keeping the faith. It's only a matter of time before the legendary beauty hammers the final nail into Janet's career by reinventing dance-pop. I just hope I have at least one of my original hips when her smash drops! Until then we'll have to make do with her canon of classics.

As a long-time La Toya scholar, I thought I'd seen it all. So imagine my delight when the Church uncovered a hidden gem! In a typically insane career turn, Toy somehow ended up in Japan singing a cover of "Funky Town" with Minako Honda. I googled her duet partner and she's described as "the recently deceased Japanese Madonna". Shame! If this song and Minako's outfit - an aluminum foil dress and cheap $2 wig - are any indication of her style, the world lost a towering talent.

Everything about "Funky Town" is utter perfection. La Toya is the picture of loveliness and she actually looks like she's having a great time. The clip (below) was filmed in 1987, so I guess Janet's prettier sister hadn't been turned into a sad zombie by Jack Gordon yet. Watch in awe as Toy Toy proves why she was, is and will always be the most relevant Jackson. This is everything.