LANA DEL FLOP AKA LANA DEL SLAY AKA LANA DEL US TOP TEN QUEEN IS COMING FOR THAT #1!

She ain't no flop no more! The now Queen of US Top 40 radio and soon to be Queen of this mother fucking world has finally entered my body and soul. It only took me five beers and a really shitty mood to appreciate the wonders of this talented, amazing, natural beauty.

I sound like a delusional stan on purpose by the way. Even if my sentences come off as mocking, I ironically say them but actually mean them. I was drunk as fuck one night and I was looking at some of her performances because I was feeling like hating on someone and then I saw this video of her meeting these Australian fans. She is soooooooo down to earth, her natural lips may never come down to her face again but her attitude, omg she's amazing. She was cute, and thankful and just genuine. Put her in a sheesh kabob and feed me her for dinner. I would eat that up in a second.

"Summertime Sadness" is really why we're here though. The iconic, sleeper hit, has reached a new high in the US at a cute #9 on the Hot 100. You know that's like 91 more stops than your fave flop. Just saying, I'm keeping score. 

The remix aka "Versus" single is slaying everything in its' path. So if I were Katy Flop and Lady Flop Flop I would watch my asses because Lana del Flawless is coming for that #1.

I just want a beer, a cigarette and a Jawbone speaker right now. 

G-DRAGON BECOMES THE LIL' WAYNE OF SOUTH KOREA, UGH!

G-Dragon could not let Seung Ri have his 10 seconds of fame. The devil of KPop came back this week with some hot ass mess of a three part EP shit. He has a song with Missy Elliot, Sky Ferreira, some girl named Jenny... I don't know I can't keep track. All I know is that I'm sick of him and he hasn't even debuted on variety shows.

"Niliria" his dumb-as-fuck song with Missy Elliot is your typical try-hard "Hip Hop" KPop song. It's so try hard and repetitive. "like what what what what what what what what"... I mean if you're gonna have a repetitive hook at least sing it in Korean so I don't know what you're singing cuz let's be real, I ain't googling the translation for this hot ass mess.

"Black" featuring Sky Flopreira is a snoozefest. He is trying to show various sides of his Lil' Wayne alter ego but I already left, I'm already on the "I don't give a fuck about G-Dragon train" and I ain't making no U turn.

Sadly the mofo is outselling Seung Ri, Kara (who have been labeled the "new T-Ara" based on their controversy, hahahahaha) and every other bitch in the game. It's so sad.

I'm not even gonna post the music video or performance video, I don't want him to get more video views, that's the last thing we need.

Pretty much the same madafaka if you ask me. I am in a bad mood today, damn.

TEEN TOP COMEBACK TRACK "ROCKING" IS DESTROYING EVERY KPOP STAR RIGHT NOW!

Teen Top are back and catchier than ever! The boys have ditched their vocals, their manly theme, their boyish theme, their lyrics, their everything... and it's the best thing they have ever decided to do! After many attempts at proving to be more than just a cute group, the holy fivesome came back last week with the addictive and super repetitive title track "Rocking"... and they already won their first KPOP trophy! When will your faves?

"Rocking" literally has like 10 non-repetitive lines and sadly Niel (or whatever the fuck you spell it) sings most of them. But, shade aside, his autotune voice is hot and so are the rest of the group. My husband and future father of my kids, C.A.P. only gets 3-4 lines but you know what, I ain't even mad cuz I still get to stare at that cute face when they perform. 

My thoughts exactly Chunji

The music video already has over 1.4M views, which is a lot for a non SM artist. Speaking of the music video. It's a fun roller coaster. The choreography is sharp, the visual is appealing and the background set isn't half as bad. 

What really sells it for me, is their charisma. They know they are singing gibberish, I don't need to speak Korean to know that, but they are singing and dancing to it like it's the next "Thriller" and I appreciate that. LIE TO ME, I don't need to know these lyrics are dumb.

Their comeback stages have been their best so far! While performing "Don't I", the three members who usually get overshadowed (Ricky especially) finally get more than one line. Ricky actually gets to sing a lot (well "rap") and it's a nice change of pace. It also doesn't hurt that "Don't I" is a flawless master-fucking-piece and that my other husband (don't tell C.A.P) and future father of my bastard children sings like a fucking angel. Chunji, just make a home under my bed and stay there forever. You don't need to be a successful kpop star!

*Ricky trying to sing along to the loud backing track, I CAN'T! It's too perf!*

OMG, the best hidden gem though is "Oh Good!" - IT IS SO GOOD! It sounds a lot like "Rocking" but I don't give no shits. My shits bank has been over-drafted and I don't plan on paying the madafakin' bank fees.

If you live in the US or anywhere, buy this album if your country has iTunes because the songs are flawfree, the album isn't though, you better fucking pay for it. They're not gonna become the next 'NSYNC by the fucking miracle of life.

ARIANA GRANDE LOOKS ALL SORTS OF HOT IN "BABY I" MUSIC VIDEO!

Ariana Grande is set to destroy every other pop star in the planet this week when her fantastic debut album "Yours Truly"comes out. The already iconic debut album (that brought us the irresistible "The Way") is set to break all first week sales by a Disney / Nickelodeon star and not to mention a couple of singles-artist, album flop bitches.

"Baby I" sees her in a cute girl-next-door type of scenario. She's being cute on top of a car, she's being cute dancing with some hot guys around her, she's being cute trying to get down and durty. She's being cute. But also, the soon to be singer of the 21st Century, brought some sexy meat to this picnic. She's seen in really tight and small shorts and shirts. 

OMG SHE IS TINY AS FUCK. GURL, go eat a burger! Damn.

"Baby I" hasn't hit the high that "The Way" did, but once this video gets some YouTube clips and a couple of parodies, you will hear this everywhere.

AND, can we just talk about those iconic, non-repetitive lyrics? She is bring that A game here, non of that dumb-lyric shit, okay, don't get it twisted!

Now, go like this, thumbs it up, share it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Wherever the fuck you go to share your shit and go buy "Yours Truly" on iTunes now madafakaz.